Ready to make your dreams come true but living by someone else's rules? Living the life others have planned for you, but feeling lost, empty and unsatisfied? How easy it is when we are kind and thoughtful to feel that others needs are more important than our own.
We are often raised to think it is selfish to put our needs before others, and yet when the time comes and we look at what we need to fill our cup - we find others are not so forthcoming in considering our needs before theirs. We can find ourselves feeling resentful, unhappy, bitter or angry and not really knowing why we keep getting forgotten and unconsidered.
Our lives act as a mirror. What is around us is often mirroring what we unconsciously believe ourselves. If deep down we feel we need punishment, then we will 'hire' others to punish us - through abusive behavior or control. If deep down we feel we are not worthy of love or happiness, we will find ourselves surrounded by people who do not offer us love or consider our happiness. If we feel others are more important than ourselves, then we will find ourselves surrounded by people who consider their needs before our own. In truth it isn't about the other people. They are just doing their duty to reflect back to us our unconscious beliefs so they can be made conscious.
But let's be honest, it isn't always about us. Sometimes we are there to teach others, or to simply learn that we deserve happiness and to be respected, honored and considered also.
Sometimes it is just about setting clear boundaries around what is and isn't ok for us in our lives. This also applies to our path. If we are sacrificing our needs and dreams to fulfill another's dreams, needs or desires, are we really serving anybody?
There is this thought many of us grow up with which is that it is 'selfish' to put our needs before others. And certainly there are times that this can be so. But there is also a need for us to acknowledge we have a purpose of our own to fill. A divine plan and path that will feed our soul and enable us to offer more to the world. Is it selfish to feed our soul in such a way as to enable us to offer MORE to those around us not less?
There is the old analogy of "you must put your own oxygen mask on before you put one on those you care for'. Why? Because otherwise you have nothing to offer those who need your care. If we do not feed ourselves, but feed others first and go hungry, can we then continue to care for them? If we feed ourselves first and give ourselves strength to grow food for those we care for, are we not all abundant? Where is the benefit in sacrificing our needs to the point that we become a bitter, empty vessel unable to offer anything to anyone else?
This applies to following our dreams. To following our path. To doing what we know DEEP IN OUR BONES is right for us - even when it may cause conflict and trouble in our lives because others are used to us living by their rules.
This does not mean we must war with others - although they may see it that way - it means with love and compassion we can kindly and gently express what is real and true for us, and set clear boundaries that support our needs and desires. We then get to receive so much more joy and happiness, and can then offer more joy and happiness to those we love.
For those who aren't aware there is some intense Full Moon and Eclipse energies happening over the next few months. Why do I bring this up you ask? Because these energies are often a catalyst for change, endings and beginnings and rebirth. That new life you have been wanting... these energies are here to support the manifestation of that. How? By bringing up all that S&*t you have been turning a blind eye to. By making you 'wake up' to the ways you have sabotaged and limitied yourself by thinking you are not worthy of those dreams. Whether it be the once in a lifetime love, dream career or financial security, if you are hiding from your demons and not facing them - they will make themselves known at this time.
So what is your big wakeup call? What do you need to let go of? What do you need to take steps towards? What is coming up for you, just begging for you to sit up and finally take notice? What is your gut/intuition telling you that you keep discounting and saying ' nah it can't be - I don't deserve that, or that's too scary, or I don't like change I want to stay here in my painful but safe place?
I am being quite direct here - not to bring about fear, pain or anger, but to trigger you to take your power, your love, your guidance and your dreams and step up and make them a reality.
Those demons - they are thoughts - and like thoughts they are elusive, changable things that are based entirely on perception. Those fears of 'what will others say, will others approve, what if others don't approve, what if I lose money, love, friendships...etc' those thoughts are all illusion. They are all thoughts (demon's) in your head doing their best to keep you trapped and from the life you dream of, and all you have to do to conquer those demons is realise just how changable, elusive and defeating they are and with a simple thing such as stepping back and looking at the big picture - stepping out of your head and into your heart - FEELING what is real for you.. that is all that is needed to conquer these demons.
And as this song suggests - it doesn't hurt to reach out and ask for a little help (divine or otherwise) either. :)
Lots of love, blessings and compassion for all of you - especially those of you struggling to navigate these energies and the transformation they are bringing to your lives. Please reach out if you are needing a little help x
I am faced today with the prospect of returning to work tomorrow after 2 weeks leave - a time of reflection and introspection. The energy of the Hermit is about going within, gaining insights and awareness that are difficult (or impossible) to obtain when we are so busy looking outside of ourselves or partaking in the drama and business of life. It is a case of sometimes being too close to a situation to see it with clarity - and it is only in taking several somewhat large steps back that we gain the clarity we need.My learning's over these past few weeks (and in truth months) have been many. The most significant is around expressing my truth. Using my voice. That doesn't just mean being honest with ourselves and others about our true feelings and desires (although that is certainly a large part of it), but it is also about being brave enough to stand in our power and being who we are meant to be. In short not allowing fear or others to keep us small. As I write this I wonder at what soul contracts we make with others to give us an 'excuse' to stay small. Ah - another moment of clarity.
In truth NOBODY has the power to keep us small, silence our voice, or keep us from our life mission/path/desires. It may feel as though they have that power - but it is a power we give them - and that we can return to ourselves at any given time... just as soon as we decide we are worthy of it in fact.
In recent months I have found as I stepped into my power (authenticity) and sought to fulfil a purpose for my life that there were those who became threatened by my actions and chose to nullify this behaviour in their own various ways. It has hit hard and left its mark, however in all things there are lessons - and as I regain clarity I am faced with a truth. No-one has the power to keep me small - unless I give it to them. No-one has the power to keep me from my path - unless I give it to them. NO-ONE can stop me from fulfilling my soul contracts UNLESS I LET THEM!
As I reflect on my life and some of the patterns, I am faced with a simple fact - there have been too many times when I have allowed others to keep me small. It is true I have fought back and claimed my right to be free to be myself, but then once again I find myself in these situations - different surroundings - different names but same dynamics. I know that the soul contract I have with my clients - future, present and past - is to assist them to find their voice, step into their power, reach for the stars and reach their goals - and it is only in learning this (deeply) for myself that I can assist others to do so.
Ultimately the answer comes down to a few significant factors. Forgiveness (for ourselves and others), compassion (for ourselves and others and the pain that causes them to act in certain ways), authentic truth (speaking up about what is real for us in a heart centred, calm and rational manner), and absolute determination to not let anyone keep us from what we consciously know is right for us (when we want to hide in our shell, surrender, or give our power away to avoid the spears flying our way)
Many of you may have felt the current energies at the moment - they can be challenging to negotiate as we transition from the old to the new. This transition requires letting go of what deep down (if we surrender) we KNOW is not meant for us - no matter how comfortable it may be to stay there, or how much we think we want it. These may be mind sets, safety nets, limiting beliefs, toxic relationships, jobs, location - the list goes on. We may experience ascension symptoms such as pain, exhaustion, depression, anxiety, headaches etc. We may have waves of grief, sadness as we purge old emotions and pain that we need to release to allow our future to unfold. We may have a sudden knowing about things we weren't aware of before. We may find ourselves getting more into our hearts and feeling rather than being in our heads thinking. As they say you can't solve a problem doing the same things that created it. You need to take a different approach. Going within can help us gain clarity on what that approach is. Meditation, getting into nature, walks etc all help us to go within, listen to our heart, higher guidance, intuition and find the answers we seek.
With any change there is always going to be resistance - it is par for the course - but when we can surrender and let go we find ourselves in the flow, and the divine energies trying to help us can move those chess pieces to everyone's favour and highest good so much more quickly. Surrender and healing bring us in divine timing to that which we know deep in our bones is ours - was always ours - has been ours for lifetimes - and all we needed to do was to let go of the resistance and take that leap of faith and surrender to the divine support available to us (asking helps!). The more we resist a situation the more energy we give it - but in surrender and acceptance we can find things shift and change quicker than we can possibly imagine.
I am saying these words to myself as I contemplate my next steps forward. As I reclaim my power to be available to those who I can help ,and release those who would seek to prevent me from doing so. As I consciously commit to doing whatever it takes to be in alignment within myself, my soul, a heart open and filled with love as I authentically speak my truth and open my heart to receive and give in equal measure.
I am very grateful for all of those who are traveling this journey with me, and your deep love and support
I would like to take a moment to talk about energetic boundaries.
For those of us who are empathic, we can often find ourselves picking up on the energies of those around us.
But even for those who do not feel particularly empathic, we are still – perhaps unknowingly – absorbing the energies of those around us.
This might be shown through feeling flat or down or energetically drained when you have been around certain people. It may also be shown through unwittingly picking up belief systems and ideas from those around us.
I have recently been working with a coach myself, and through our sessions I became aware of a limiting belief that was holding me back from reaching my goals. It was a simple belief creating guilt – and the funny thing about it was it wasn’t even my belief. It was something I had picked up from someone close to me, and taken on as my own.
Now this doesn’t mean we should all live in a bubble, but what it does mean is that we should be aware of what is ours and what is another’s.
I am not advocating that you write people out of your life here, I am bringing attention to something that needs light shed on it. Looking at what we deem to be real and really analysing, is that our wish or belief, or is it something we are absorbing from someone around us or near to us?
Are we allowing another to imprint us with their wishes, desires or beliefs? Now if this is someone we highly respect and these beliefs can help us move forward that is not necessarily a bad thing – but let’s face it – this journey home to ourselves is about knowing clearly and deeply who WE are, not what others have imposed on us to be.
Where this can be particularly tricky is where someone near to us – either physically or emotionally – who is what we would define as toxic; abusive, highly negative, angry and demeaning, masochist, narcissistic etc., we can find our energies become so depleted and affected that it is very difficult to find the courage and the strength to step up and break free and claim our own energy and power.
On occasion this might be someone who appears positive, but underneath they are carrying un-healed wounds that are creating a negative energetic impact on us.
Now I want to be clear this is not about blaming or shaming those whose energies are affecting us. They often are not aware they are doing so and often are coming from their own unhealed and wounded parts.
This is about us taking ownership for our own energy fields.
This is about us standing tall and strong and saying to ourselves and the universe quite clearly – “I TAKE OWNERSHIP OF MY OWN ENERGETIC FIELD”.
Sometimes this intent will be enough – other times we might need to take time out to physically remove ourselves from these energies so we can get clarity on what is ours and what is theirs.
So my question to you is – is your energetic field clear and representative of you and your beliefs, or have you absorbed others beliefs and energies unknowingly?
If you would like help managing your energetic boundaries please feel free to book a free session or feel free to share your experiences by posting below.
Karen Rohrlach (C)